Dr Somalika Pal compiles a set of 20 tips for would-be fathers which will empower you with the means to take up the daunting yet beautiful role of fatherhood with Elan.
It’s positive!! Two pink lines!!
This news lights up most couples planning to start a family. Yet beneath the excitement and celebration lurks occasional bursts of anxiety, doubts and questions- lots and lots of questions. Many dads would confess to me that they end up feeling they have too little to do, or what they are doing is not enough, or there’s nothing they can do. More often than not, new fathers are showing a welcome willingness to be much more involved in pregnancy, birthing and baby care. Whether a mother is a working professional or a stay-at-home mom, the role of her partner, the father, in this pregnancy and childbirth journey is immense. The preparation for fatherhood starts right from pregnancy and continues well past the baby’s birth. As they say, it’s not just the baby born that day, but the parents too.
Dr Somalika Pal, Senior Consultant, Pediatrics and Neonatology, Cloudnine Group of Hospitals, Kailash Colony, compile a set of 20 tips for would-be fathers which will empower you with the means to take up the daunting yet beautiful role of fatherhood with Elan.
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- Be supportive- Pregnancy can bring about many changes to your partner’s physical and mental well-being. It helps to hear her concerns and support her experiences instead of dismissing them, saying every pregnant woman feels them. Although this may be true, what you two are going through is unique to you, and being supportive of her experiences helps you appreciate her much more.
- Get yourself ready to be her birthing companion- Although your dads and grand-dads may feel the contrary, supporting your partner as her birthing companion during labour and delivery helps comfort her much better and enables you to witness the magic of your baby being born. This may be challenging to many, and some may be too uncomfortable at the sight, but knowing what to expect, reading and looking at videos may help you go through the process.
- Discuss the birthing plan and be aware of what decisions may have to be taken in the delivery room- Try to discuss the birthing plans with her obstetrician together with her. Your doctor may give some special instructions about what to watch out for when visiting the hospital, discuss labour pain-relief options like an epidural, risk factors, if any etc. This helps you to agree with what she may need.
- Keep the birthing bag ready- a packed bag with all essentials needed at the hospital should be ready soon. This should contain things the mother or baby may need, like a change of clothes, towels, a nursing bra, sanitary pads, basic toiletries, and clothes for the baby, including caps, mittens, socks, diapers, wipes, baby wrap/blanket, warm clothes in winter etc. The bag should be where it can be readily grabbed if you suddenly need to rush to the hospital.
- Keep car/hospital transport ready- Towards the expected delivery date, ensure you or someone is available at home to drive to the hospital when required. The car should be prepared (working condition/fuel etc.)and be cleaned. If a personal vehicle is unavailable, make sure you have a plan ready for emergency transport to the hospital along with an emergency contact person.
- Keep an infant car seat ready- When adequately fixed, Age-appropriate car seats protect your baby against significant injury in car accidents. Infants should be placed in a backwards-facing position only in the rear seat of your car.
- Ensure cleanliness and hygiene at home-In anticipation of your baby arriving home from the hospital, ensure all surfaces where the baby may be placed, like bed sheets and crib sheets, are well laundered. Curtains, upholstery, carpets, etc., should be cleaned/vacuumed well. Air conditioners should be well-serviced before use. If recommended, air purifiers (based on your city’s air quality) should be used.
- Be willing to listen if your partner wants to share her challenges or insecurities during breastfeeding. Encourage breastfeeding, do not instil doubts and concerns by saying things like “milk is not enough”, “formula is better”, etc. Also, stop others in the household from doing so.
- Do some reading up/ look up videos on spoon-feeding and burping techniques- the weeks following childbirth are exhausting for both parents but much more so for the mother. Sharing some of the work, like helping store and warming up breastmilk (if the mother is expressing), feeding by spoon or malady, and burping the baby, will ensure father-child bonding and give the mother much-needed rest. Nurses at the birthing hospital would be willing to teach these techniques.
- Discuss sleeping arrangements before the baby’s birth and read up on safe sleep practices It is essential to prepare based on what you two opt for. Make sure your room has a place for a baby bassinet/ crib if you plan to put the baby separately to sleep. If opting for co-sleeping, ensuring that the mattress is firm and not too soft and removing any pillows, loose bedding, or blankets around the baby is essential.
- Stock up on baby clothes, caps, socks, mittens, wraps and blankets. Keep essential medications handy after discussing with your baby’s doctor.
- Be present at the time of discharge of baby from the hospital You, too, must be aware of the basic do’s and don’t’s of baby care and ask questions. This allows you to be mindful of the advice to your doctor, any tests, medications, or follow-up visit schedules. Use this opportunity to seek clarifications about the safety of any cultural practices about baby bathing, massage, cord care etc., practised by your family so that harmful practices may be avoided. Discuss with your baby’s doctor about vaccinations given at birth and the subsequent immunizations to be given so that none are missed.
- Avail paternity leave if the option exists- They say it takes a village to raise a baby. So if you can leave for extended periods, consider taking it to spend time with your partner and baby. This helps in better father-child bonding and quality family time.
- Fill out the birth registration form within the stipulated time to get the birth certificate. The birthing hospital will help out with these.
- Health insurance- Make arrangements to include your baby in any ongoing health insurance schemes you have. Consider getting one in case you haven’t any.
- Financial security- having a baby comes with a lot of responsibility, and based on the dynamics of your family, make wise financial plans for your child’s secure future.
- Baby proofing the surroundings Although it will be a while before your baby starts moving about, it is essential to take stock of the surroundings your baby will be in so that you can get started on this promptly.
- Avoid smoking and other harmful substances/ practices- you should be mindful to NEVER smoke in your baby’s presence. Even second-hand smoke is highly hazardous to a child. Also, ensure liquid vaporisers like mosquito repellants are placed safely away from the baby and do not spray perfumes and deodorants onto your newborn baby. Ensure you never share a bed with your baby in an inebriated state. It is hazardous and risks your child being accidentally smothered.
- Wear a face mask before your baby if you have respiratory infection symptoms. Wash your hands before touching your baby. Discourage too many visitors and handling.
- Contraception- Be responsible when it comes to contraceptive choices. Do not rely on lactational amenorrhea for contraception. A healthy spacing between pregnancies is essential for the health and well-being of both the mother and baby. Discuss with her obstetrician about your contraceptive choices as soon as required.
